Getting what you want in Seven Steps   

“What’s wrong?”

 “Why do I have this problem?”

“Whose fault is it?”

Any of these questions sound familiar?  Unfortunately, most people focus on a problem (the negative aspects), rather than the solution (the positive approach).  People tend to feel stuck, and sometimes even hopeless, when oriented towards what is wrong. Many people think about problems in this way, using the “Blame Frame.”

Knowing what you want is one of the basic principles usually associated with Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and is a key factor to obtaining successful results.  In NLP, the objective is to find out what people want, discover what resources they have and then use those resources to obtain desired outcomes.

The opposite of the Blame Frame is the “Outcome Frame” a set of seven questions that orients your thinking in such a way as to maximize the possibility of attaining your goal. 

          The “Outcome Frame” points you in a direction that gets you moving, and doing things differently.  Rather than addressing the issues of why a problem exists, it organizes experience around what is wanted, and how it is possible to achieve that end.  

Some people focus more on the present and what is wrong with it, while others focus on the future and the anticipated rewards. To move from one focus to the other, you need resources.  In NLP there is a principle that states that we already have all the resources that we need to make the changes we desire. By using the “Outcome Frame” we can apply these resources to our current situations. 

To access your resources, think about what is working well in your life and what has worked in the past.  Form a collection of resources that will be easy to apply.  Recall the many times that you have utilized these inner resources, (e.g. confidence, competence, empowerment) when things went really well.  Remember the feelings of that time.  Your resources are now easy to access and you’re ready to self-model.  By modeling times when you did something successfully, you will be able to enter that state more easily and more often. 

Now, let us explore the “Outcome Frame”. 

Once you have clearly defined your desired outcome and you are clear on what it is you want, remember a time, as exactly as possible, when you were successful.  What did you believe then? 

Next, reflect upon a time when you were fully resourceful.  What resources from that time do you want to apply to this situation?  Did you enjoy it?  Was it liberating?  What could be significant about the experience that you are remembering?  There may be a special reason why it stays in your mind.  The circumstances may have been unusual, you may have surprised yourself, or someone else may have made a significant contribution.  Whatever it was, it can help you recreate a similar situation to make the resources easier to access. 

Now apply the “Outcome Frame” with the following seven questions. Consider and write down the answer to each of these questions focusing on what you want that is within your control and stated in the positive. (e.g. “I want to be calm and more relaxed “ Not  “I want less stress, no tension.”):

1.            “What do I want?”

2.            “When do I want it?”

3.            “How will I know that I have it?”

4.            “When I get what I want, what else in my life will improve?”

5.            “What resources do I have available to help me with this?”

6.            “How can I best utilize the resources that I have?”

7.            “What am I going to begin doing now to get what I want?”

This “Outcome Frame” is oriented towards the future and uses resources that you already have. People who apply this frame usually experience feelings of hope and capability.  You now have more awareness of your actions and choices. You have the power to decide whether or not to do things differently, in a variety of resourceful ways.  Responding to the “problem” is now in the realm of choice.

Give the “Outcome Frame” a try when you need to get unstuck.  It will help you to clearly define what you want and allow you to tap into the resources that can help you achieve your desired outcomes more readily.